clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
