I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
