real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
