It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
