my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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