cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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