come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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