everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
