I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
