You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
