I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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