maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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