Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
