why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
