ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
