oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Welp...herpes.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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