I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She bit a glass in half.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
