on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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