If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
worst night to have a conscience
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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