well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
