I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
