I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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