New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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