One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
