i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
