I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
