I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
