Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Panties = found
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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