So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
