Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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