i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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