They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
