Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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