ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
