did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
