I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
