don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
