Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When are your genitals available?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
