Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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