you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
