Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
