I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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