my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
