Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
