Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
