As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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