I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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