You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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