I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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