at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My cat gives me a boner
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
