It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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